Abortion

This weekend commemorates thirty-three years (23 January 1973) since the Supreme Court decision to legalize abortion “for any reason that a woman chooses up until the point that fetus becomes ‘viable’ or potentially able to exist outside the womb.” Thirty-three years later Roe v Wade still triggers heated debate and rightly so.

I am opposed to abortion for moral reasons that enshrine the sanctity of human life. The moral reasons invite us to look beyond the moment of abortion and to weigh the consequences of such action. I’ve seen the daunting pain and guilt that almost always possesses those who have had an abortion. Over these many years I’ve visited and counseled with women who are haunted by the memory of an abortion.

This anniversary reminds me of two stories because they well illustrate what I am talking about. These are two real stories to which I have been privy. The first happened in the early 1980s. It was a very elderly lady. She had never married. She had been a career woman before that was fashionable. She had had an abortion in 1936 and had never been able to get over what she had done. It impacted her personality and from what I remember, she had a rather dower outlook on life. Forty five years later this was still haunting her. She had received and heard the words of absolution in the sacrament of reconciliation, but was unable to forgive herself. So, as death approached she could not find peace.

The other case was equally tragic. It was a seventeen- year-old whose parents strongly counseled abortion when she became pregnant in her senior year of high school. She had been going with the boy for a long time and no one would have been surprised if they got married. Both were from good active families in the parish and attended Catholic high school. The girl became a psychological basket case after the abortion. When she does not take her medicine she rages at her father, even to the point of physical violence and must be hospitalized. Her condition worsened after her boy friend committed suicide. Now her parents would welcome the chance to raise their grandchild. They blame themselves for what happened to their daughter. The boy’s parents have never recovered from their son’s suicide.

Oh, these families go on with their lives but a missing son daily reminds one family of abortion’s tragedy. A dysfunctional daughter reminds the other. I have not met anyone yet who has shared a positive experience of an abortion. Too many women have told me of wondering what their child would be like when he or she would have been 7 or 15 or 25 years of age. I remember a woman talking to me in the back of church after a niece’s First Communion, recollecting about her unborn child, who would have been the same age. She remarked how the events in the lives of nieces and nephews and even the children of friends are constant reminders of what could have been. I wonder how some of those who see it as a quick solution to a problem will deal with the memory 25, 30, 45 years from now?

I hope that today’s solution is not tomorrow’s darkness. Those I’ve known to walk this road are always aware of the darkness. They seek forgiveness, but are unable to forgive themselves. Abortion is an ever-present boogey-man. I think there is less a need for demonstrations and more need for education and pro-active help with real alternatives that help the victims through their crisis. It is possible to detest the sin of abortion while remaining compassionate toward someone who has chosen to have an abortion. Take a stand on abortion but remember Saint John’s warning: “We belong to God and anyone who has knowledge of God gives us a hearing, while anyone who is not of God refuses to hear us.” (1 John 4,6) Think about it.

[From Pastor's Column by Father Michael Doyle, O.S.M. - January 21, 2007]